Lady Chatterley's Hoover
(A bawdy ballad)
Not that kind of girl
Married to a Patrician
But the Lady had lurid longings
For a new and exciting position
She fantasised day and night
Thrilled by her thoughts of downstairs
Determined to get down and dirty
To suck in the fluff and the hairs
To suck in the fluff and the hairs
Uninhibited pulling the cord
Flushed at turning it on
She set about stroking the shagpile
Not intending to push hard and long
But she pushed and pulled that hoover
Till she broke out in a sweat
And the hoover started whining
But she hadn't finished yet
Ecstatic at feeling so common
For her there was no going back
So she pushed and she pulled that hoover
She set about stroking the shagpile
Not intending to push hard and long
But she pushed and pulled that hoover
Till she broke out in a sweat
And the hoover started whining
But she hadn't finished yet
Ecstatic at feeling so common
For her there was no going back
So she pushed and she pulled that hoover
Till she came to and emptied the sack
Mike O'Leary - November 2013
Mike O'Leary - November 2013
ReInterpreting Lawrence's Lady Chatterley,
fantasising about the dignity of labour.
Some may see it otherwise. So be it.
